| Alan Merrill |
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| Joined: 22 Feb 2004 |
| Posts: 2111 |
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Yes, the agony and the ecstasy of sex on film.
You know, the French call an orgasm "la petite mort",
meaning the little death.
Hold this thought as I carry on.
I was searching the TV channels tonight
hoping to find something of interest,
and ran by one where it looked like someone was being murdered.
The screams were chilling and the face of the woman on screen
was contorted to look like that of a monster.
Shocked but curious, I stopped to have a look,
and realised it was Channel 35 on the Manhattan Cable Network.
It's a soft core porn channel, mainly featuring shows hosted
by former erotic model-actress veteran Robin Byrd.
She showcases young and old strippers both female and male,
all without the benefit of air brushing in close ups,
and topped off by garish stark fluorescent lighting.
It can be a frightening and sobering dose of reality.
Herpes, right up in your face at close range on a massive tv screen,
can be more horrible to see than any horror film high tech gore imaginable.
These Robin Byrd shows are tame by today's standards.
What I was actually seeing as I tuned in to this channel
was an advertisement for an escort service called Escapades.
This commercial was the source of the contorted faces
and loud hideous horror film-ish noises.
What struck me most about the ad was the faces,
those of the actors.
They looked like they were in the most agonizing pain.
It didn't look like much fun at all.
At least not as a casual viewer evaluating the situation on screen.
I mean, I have no doubt they were enjoying themselves,
but you couldn't see that by looking at it.
The expressions were of excruciating pain
and the howls emitted from the principals
sounded more like animal sounds than human.
As the ad finished up I nearly dropped the remote channel changer
and practically fell off the couch laughing at what I heard.
The final catch phrase of the Escapades advertisement was
"Escape AIDS with Escapades, all of our escorts are safe
and frequently tested."
What a wonderful endorsement! I mean,
who was the marketing genius thought that one up?
It then went to an Oriental Outcall ad, guaranteeing a wonderful
Geisha-To-Go full service situation.
Sort of like pizza delivery. Well, almost.
She'll "love you long time" was the music playing in the background.
Yes, love you a long time. At least as long as you're paying.
Then the blond warhorse of Manhattan cable TV Robin Byrd
came back on, introducing a male stripper
with a neurotic nervous facial twitch named Big Jim Hunter.
It was at this point that I reached for the channel changer
and looked for some unbiased, non partisan foreign news
on Public Access television.
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